


Who is the one I see?

by Ee_yore



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Body Image, Eating Disorders, How Do I Tag, Steve Rogers-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:46:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22156495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ee_yore/pseuds/Ee_yore
Summary: I always thought about how Steve would feel about his new body after he had a chance to actually think about it, he's been tiny his whole life, he was seen as weak and no one would ever think he was attractive; all of a sudden they become this huge muscly dude that everyone loves, that would really hurt his self esteem and maybe they don't like the attention his new body brings .OrSteve doesn't like his new body, so he tries to change it back. The team watch on as he fades away
Relationships: Maybe Tony Stark/Steve Rogers, No Relationships, if you squint
Kudos: 34





	Who is the one I see?

Steve stared into the foggy mirror, droplets of water sliding down his bulging muscles.In his mind flashed an image of a skinny slip of a boy, back when bruises lined his skin because he could never shut his mouth in the face of prejudice, but now? Those bullies wouldn’t even think to touch him; everything he ever wanted stood in front of him, hell, people regarded him as the peak of human perfection! Why did he feel so...wrong?

Slowly he brought up his hands, hugging his body tightly as he squeezed his eyes shut because the image in the mirror was just wrong, Wrong WrONg WRONG!!! He hated it, it wasn’t him, not the little guy whose spirit was bigger than his body, I wasn’t right, not him, something was wrong with him.

“Number 1 sexiest body in the world!”

“Damn dude, I wish I looked like you”

“You’re so beautiful!”

‘Something is wrong with me…’

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey sexy, you heading over to the gym again? Gotta keep up those muscles huh” Tony said with a flirtatious smirk, Steve blankly smiled “yeah, I always go” he replied, grabbing his towel and walking down the hall. He walked silently with his head down, his thoughts spiraled back to the night before, back to the image of his old body.

‘Gotta keep up those muscles’ Steve thought, ‘you heading to the gym again?’ he always went, yes, he had to keep fit, keep up his new body...not his body...the wrong body.  
What if he just...didn’t keep it up? A flash of the little guy skipped through his mind again, he was smaller, no muscles whatsoever, thin as a stick...but despite all that, that was his body.  
‘Yes’ Steve thought, he was going to fix himself. In his mind he had no muscles, and so, neither will he actually have any. 

‘Yes, I’ll feel better once I get back into my body’

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey Steve, you heading to the gym? You’re looking a lot slimmer than usual huh”  
Tony said with a small smirk, Steve smiled back “Nah, I decided to take a break from the gym for a bit” he replied, grabbing his breakfast and walking back to his room. He walked silently, looking forward. He was so happy and proud, feeling more and more like himself again,

‘You’re looking slimmer than usual” Steve thought, he was so happy Tony noticed! It was a very slow process though, maybe he could speed it up more. Hmm, what did he have now that he didn’t have before? What made such a difference between his old and new body? 

And then it clicked! He glanced down at his huge plate of toast,eggs and bacon...maybe it would be alright to miss this meal, that poor homeless man across the street could use a nice breakfast after all.

“It’s alright sir! I wasn’t about to eat it anyways, how about you have it for me?”  
\------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey Steve...you coming to eat with the team? You look thin as a stick” Tony said with a worried frown, Steve brightly smiled “Thanks for offering! But I had this...thing I needed to do, you go up ahead” he replied, grabbing a cup of water and walking away. He hummed to himself as he walked, head held up high. He was ecstatic! He was so close to feeling right again, his old body so close he could almost touch it.

“You look thin as a stick” Steve thought ‘how nice of Tony to compliment me, i’m not even as small as i used to be!’ but he was so close, he measured his weight just this morning, he was almost there.

‘I’ve lost so many pounds! Bucky would be proud of me, I’m finally making my own choices in this new world’  
\--------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey Steve…why didn’t I say anything? I noticed how small you were getting” Tony said with tears streaming down his eyes, Steve looked so peaceful, lying against the stark white hospital pillow. With a sigh, Tony got up and walked out into the sterile hallway, He walked silently with his head down, his thoughts spiraled back to when he first began to notice how thin Steve was getting, getting thinner and thinner, until he slipped out of their grasp…

‘I should have said something...I hope it’s not too late’


End file.
